Tag Archives: tragedy

Cyrano’s “Suns and Roses”

04 Friday May 2018

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Put your hands in the air for today’s story.

Suns and Roses
[Equestria Girls] [Romance] [Dark] [Tragedy] [Alternate Universe] • 10,907 words

The Crystal Mirror brought Sunset Shimmer not to the steps of Canterlot High, but to another world all together. She meets Roseluck, a prisoner in her own home trapped beneath the authoritarian rule of her father, and the two embark on a journey of love and bank robbing as they search for somewhere they can truly be free.

FROM THE CURATORS: The My Little Pony fandom sometimes seems dedicated to proving that ponies can cross over with any genre — and often, as with this tale, the result elevates both sources.  “This is a high-speed fic about falling in love, seeking freedom, and getting into way too much trouble,” Present Perfect said in his nomination.  “You’ve got bank robberies, tommy guns, gas that cost twenty cents a gallon, and going out in a hail of gunfire when the odds are stacked against you. Suffice to say, this story is entirely my aesthetic and I unabashedly love it.”  He wasn’t the only one: “I am a tremendous sucker for period pieces,” FanOfMostEverything said.  “And apparently for lesbian Bonnie & Clyde stories set in the Roaring Twenties. And brief interludes with human Twilight working at a patent office. Sorry, bank. I meant bank.”

And while its pitch-perfect genre elements endeared us to the story, those weren’t the only things it got right.  “It’s a gripping roller coaster of a story,” FanOfMostEverything said, while Soge praised the characters: “Sunset and Roseluck worked out perfectly as a romantic pairing, with the kind of chemistry that would make me less harsh towards shipfics. The setting also works wonders in favor of the story, serving as a perfect way of framing this type of story as a pony fic.”  Horizon appreciated the framing as well: “This melds its pony elements into its 1920s framework subtly and smoothly, and uses them to make the gut punch at the ending all the more poignant.”

While this was breezing to an easy feature, at times our discussion sounded more like a book club than a literary critique.  “This was a fantastic tale of following a road paved with good intentions to its inevitable end,” FanOfMostEverything said, causing Soge to respond: “I will certainly disagree with the idea that this is about a road paved with good intentions, given their impressive (and seemingly dispassionate) body count.  And I say that because it was probably my favourite aspect of this fic — the inherent tragedy to it all, of two teenagers broken by life finding their only escape to be through love, yes, but also murder. It feels very significant that, at the end of the day, they only lose when they take a more empathetic path.”

Read on for our author interview, in which Cyrano discusses boardwalk empires, spring semesters, and a little more panache.
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OnionPie’s “What is Left”

09 Friday Mar 2018

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Today’s story is an addicting read.

What is Left
[Dark] [Sad] [Thriller] [Tragedy] • 24,301 words

Five years of cheap thrills in the big city have left Sweetie Belle in bad debt with dangerous ponies. Forced to pay up, she returns to Ponyville to seek money from an estranged sister she loathes with a passion.

FROM THE CURATORS: We’re all here because we appreciate the pastel friendship aesthetic of My Little Pony — but fanfic wanders considerably farther afield, and there’s also beauty sometimes in bleakness.  “This is dark and depressing in all the right ways — the closest point of comparison would be the tone of Fallout: Equestria – Project Horizons‘ darkest chapters, honestly,” Soge said in his nomination.  “Even when, halfway through the story, this fic leads you to believe things might be changing for the better, it shatters that illusion in three paragraphs in such an amazing way that I had to just step away from the story to process everything. It is a hard read, but very rewarding.”  Although all of us commented on that darkness, this earned a feature on the sheer power of its story, as Present Perfect said: “It won’t be for every reader, as the profanity, violence, drug use and general malaise of depression run severely counter to the show which inspired the piece. But this is gritty, troubling and devastating in all the right ways.”

The core of that was how we saw prose quality in every direction we turned.  “It helps that the writing is top-notch, atmospheric and evocative in a way that really drives home the despair of the situation, yet managing to contrast the reality of what is happening with well-placed touches of beauty,” Soge said, while Present Perfect was drawn deeply in: “it sure doesn’t hurt that the thriller aspect of the plot is gripping as anything; I accidentally read the whole story in one go because I couldn’t put it down.”  Even the elements we found controversial were handled thoughtfully.  “The profanity is actually well-used here, the drug-use stuff seems to me to be firmly on the fantasy side, and while I found the set-up to be a little slow, the gut-punch ending makes it worth it,” AugieDog said.

Characterization was another strong point.  “While both Rarity and Sweetie Belle are obviously very different than their show counterparts, there is a core of their characterization that is still present, and it helps drive home that this is something that could happen,” Soge said.  Present Perfect called them both “excellently flawed,” adding that “the villain is intimidating and memorable. The tragedy is palpable, and that atmospheric, evocative writing Soge refers to suffuses every last instant of the narrative.”  What sealed our feature was that this won over even curators turned off by darker material.  “I set a higher bar when it comes to dark Ponyfic,” AugieDog said.  “If a story wants to have cute ponies not being cute, well, then that story’s got to prove itself to me, and this story proves itself quite handily at every turn.”

Read on for our author interview, in which OnionPie discusses tragic beauty, culmination preparation, and sister hugs.
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WishyWish’s “Sugarcube in the Corner”

03 Friday Nov 2017

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An unlikely crossover source mashes up with pony in today’s story.

Sugarcube in the Corner
[Drama] [Sad] [Slice of Life] [Tragedy] • 8,069 words

Enter Painless — a young resident physician at Manehattan East Side Memorial Hospital who drew the short lot, and ended up working through Hearth’s Warming. With the city caught in the grips of a blizzard that weatherponies are still trying to get under control, the night is boring, the decorations contrived, and the coffee is as bitter as his sensibilities.

Tonight, Painless has a single, pointless task assigned to him — to keep the company of a lonesome, unconscious stallion who is essentially already dead. In so doing, a young doctor will learn that medicine is about more than scalpels and technique.

It’s also about mending broken hearts.

FROM THE CURATORS: One of the joys of fanfiction is running across the sorts of stories which the show itself won’t offer us — but which feel like they nevertheless fit right in with the show we love.  “How about a hospital drama with a high realism factor, lots of emotion, and a young doctor learning not to harden his heart to the world?” Present Perfect said in his nomination.  “Plus, it’s a M*A*S*H tribute. You don’t see a lot of those.” We quickly came to appreciate that blend.  “This feels well removed from the show, but not in a way that breaks immersion … learning a lesson in empathy like this is very much in MLP’s bailiwick,” Chris said.  And while it drew many elements straight from the M*A*S*H episode it used as inspiration, it was “an excellent adaptation, and a strong story in its own right,” Horizon said.

That was due at least in part to the way that it brought MLP canon into its tale.  “The turning point in this story comes when it’s revealed early on that the dying stallion is not just another OC like the main characters, but Mr. Cake,” Present Perfect said.  “It was quite the effective tactic, and it pays off well by the end.”  There was also plenty of payoff along the way, Chris said: “I feel like Corner is at its best in its smaller moments.  Painless’ coffee selection in the opening is a tiny but revealing moment, and there are a lot of those scattered about, buttressing a melancholy but touching story about doing what you can for living and dead alike.”

Both those big and small factors were repeatedly cited in our discussion.  “This does some impressive character work at its epistolary core, but what makes it exemplary for me is the emotion past the final turn,” Horizon said.  “The meditation on death that this draws from its crossover source is profound in a way that really touches on the moral core of MLP — about caring, and about what caring means.”  But ultimately, it was the successful meshing of two very different styles behind this story’s strength.  “It’s a powerful juxtaposition, throwing ponies into an unfixable situation,” AugieDog said.  “There’s always a chance in the Pony universe, always a possible solution that will right the balance and mend the broken heart.  This story doesn’t have that … but it treads very close to the line.”

Read on for our author interview, in which WishyWish discusses Alphasmarts, Flutterhugging, and rock candy cherries.
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wille179’s “Unicorns Are Magical”

14 Friday Jul 2017

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Today’s story will offer you exactly what you want to read in a horror fic.

Unicorns Are Magical
[Dark] [Alternate Universe] [Sad] [Tragedy] • 3,899 words

“Unicorns are wonderful!”
“Unicorns are fantastic!”
“Unicorns are marvelous!”
“Unicorns are glamorous!”
“Unicorns are enchanting!”
“Unicorns are terrific!”

They also like to twist words. What would happen if you asked what they really are, without the wordplay?

Unicorns provoke wonder. They create fantasies. They cause marvels. They project glamour. They weave enchantment. But most importantly, they spawn terror.

For you see, nopony said that unicorns were good.

FROM THE CURATORS: It’s an excellent sign for a fanfic’s quality when it gets lodged in your brain and refuses to leave.  “This fic is positively insidious,” Soge said.  “It has been two weeks between when I read it and when I managed to sit down to write this, and the otherworldliness of Twilight’s actions and how wrong everything feels simply hasn’t left me.”  Chris, who nominated it over a year after first reading it, felt similarly: “I think there’s a lot to appreciate about the way this piece creates and maintains a particular, darkly enjoyable tone,” he said.  “It’s a pitch-perfect take on the alien other-ness which defines the Fair Folk in our own world’s mythology, and the MLP setting draws out that other-ness well, with its familiar-but-equine trappings.”

A major contributor to the story’s excellence was its fine detail work.  “‘The earth pony sighed’, in the context of the opening scene of this story, is one of those rare single lines that shakes me to the core,” Present Perfect said, while Soge praised the subtlety of its construction: “It is one of those stories that builds a lot of atmosphere not in what is says, but in the things it omits: Wings, horns, weather control, Cutie Marks, and even empathy.”  That construction was thoughtful as well, creating impact even from its structure, as Chris noted: “The reverse-chronological order of the five characters’ scenes is used to good effect.”

But an unexpected strength was its work with familiar characters despite the massive departures of its alternate-universe setup.  “The author has boiled the main six down to their most basic traits, removing many things that the reader might have imagined would be important to their character and being,” Present Perfect said.  “In doing so, they walk a fine line between familiar and alien, and twist that to ensure that the events happening in the story keep the reader guessing.”  As disorienting as that sometimes was, it was ultimately the source of the fic’s staying power, Chris said: “There may not be a clear line between some of the main six’s lives and motivations in this fic and in the show (that is, not one that can be directly extrapolated from the AU’s premise that unicorns are essentially malicious fey), but the larger themes of the story circle that idea so smoothly that I can’t help but be impressed by the way the story grounds ‘Twilight Sparkle’ in such an unfamiliar creature.”

Read on for our author interview, in which wille179 discusses robot puns, smile-ripping, and tea pettiness.
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OleGrayMane’s “Ten Seconds”

07 Friday Jul 2017

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Don’t have second thoughts about reading today’s story.

Ten Seconds
[Tragedy] • 4,033 words

There’s been an accident, in the desert…

Based on Robert Calvert’s 1972 poem Ten Seconds of Forever.

FROM THE CURATORS: Poetry-phobes take heart — despite the story description, there’s nothing but prose here.  That doesn’t mean, however, that the story’s afraid to take chances.  “Here’s a lovely little experiment, based on a poem, that finds an intriguing way to tell the story of a life and how it led to tragedy,” Present Perfect said.  “The poem, I should mention, provides the structure of the story, but reading it first isn’t necessary — the author’s note explains everything.”  That re-envisioning was an impressive one.  “It’s great to see someone take a piece of poetry and use it as a springboard this way, without being too slavishly devoted to a literal, one-for-one retelling,” Chris said. “This really does stand on its own.”

The success of this unusual piece was primarily due to the power of the prose — something that virtually all of us commented on.  “It is a very well written fic, full of nice turns of phrase and some fantastic imagery,” Soge said, and Chris agreed: “The snapshots are well-chosen, and the imagery is evocative; this combination left me engaged by the construction itself.”  That let the emotions of the piece shine brightly through, AugieDog said: “Even though the story ends literally in the same place as it began, in getting to know the characters, my emotional involvement grew to an extent that surprised me.”

Our appreciation extended down to the little touches.  “It’s an appropriate use of the ‘tragedy’ tag, too, something about which I’ve been known to get a little blustery,” AugieDog said.  And working on so many levels, from the big down to the small, added up to an exemplary piece.  “There’s so much beauty in here — #5 in particular — that it’s easy to forget within each individual moment that the story is framed within the literal wreckage of a crash,” Horizon said.  “The overall effect is properly haunting.”

Read on for our author interview, in which OleGrayMane discusses telegram delivery, paper tapes, and face-down drooling.
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Super Trampoline’s “Feeling That Way”

14 Friday Apr 2017

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(Note: We’re looking to re-feature three of our spotlighted authors, in order to offer them spotlights on stories more representative of their writing!  Our “Correct the Record” contest runs through Sunday, April 23.  Weigh in with your votes and nominations on our FIMFiction thread.  For a “ballot” with a compiled list of nominations and voting links, check this spreadsheet.)

Today’s story brings home the consequences of war.

Feeling That Way
[2nd Person] [Drama] [Slice of Life] [Tragedy] • 1,020 words

You’re drenched in sweat and ennui. She’s fighting the enemy, and you’re fighting depression. Stuck forever in a nowhere town, you try to rise above inertia, but you only end up feeling useless. You’re always feeling that way.

FROM THE CURATORS: When stories tackle challenging topics and perspectives, it’s all the more impressive when they stick the landing.  “While war fics are often a hard sell, this one works by recognizing that,” Present Perfect said in Feeling This Way’s nomination.  “The threat is nebulous and frightening, and since the idea of war doesn’t fit into pony society, the recognition of that makes this feel like a distinctly pony piece.”  And he wasn’t the only one impressed.  “This is certainly a great story, capable of imparting powerful emotion in so few words, subtle in its details, and yet very direct in its approach,” Soge said.  “It walks that fine line between melodrama and genuine emotion splendidly.”

But this story’s main claim to fame is more unusual: This is the RCL’s first feature with the Second Person tag.  “The use of second person strikes a very tight balance,” Present Perfect said.  “Third person would have been too distant for the emotions to hit home, while a first-person narrator likely would have been too familiar, spending time contemplating what certain emotions mean. Instead, we’re fitted into this pony’s life in no uncertain terms right at the start, and get to live out the story through his eyes.”  AugieDog agreed: “For me, the 2nd person works in the sense of the character talking out loud to himself, and I found it quite effective given the dry and dusty sense of madness lurking around the edges.”  And even the dissenters, like Horizon, were impressed with the power of the story. “I’m not as sold as PP on the benefit of the second person here, but that’s not the draw,” he said.  “The big thing right is the effective and efficient storytelling that is packed into the story’s thousand words.”

That quality of writing was apparent both in the large and small.  “I love how it manages to paint a history so rich in details without actually being explicit about any of them,” Soge said, while it was its thematic solidity which impressed Horizon: “All of the beauty is abstract and environmental to contrast with the personal doubt and pain, nicely reinforcing the main theme. The wham line at the end of the mine-tailings discussion is delivered basically perfectly, and adds a sense of layered tragedy.” The overall effect, as AugieDog said, was a hard-hitting short story: “This is very much about being frozen in place, but it still manages to present the reader with an entire world and a couple of characters who have to live in that world.”

Read on for our author interview, in which Super Trampoline discusses olines, happy horse noises, and strap-on horns.
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Protopony350’s “Twilight is Annoyed”

15 Friday Jul 2016

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Twilight stars — reluctantly — in today’s featured story.

twilight-is-annoyedTwilight is Annoyed
[Dark] [Tragedy] • 2,429 words

Twilight has been alone for a long time. She’s not sure how long anymore, but the color of the sun is giving her some ideas.

Twilight stopped dreaming a long time ago, but she is now plagued by visions. Visions of the past. Visions of the worst moments of her life.

Twilight is feeling really annoyed right now.

FROM THE CURATORS: As longtime ponyfic readers, we are always looking for something a little different — so when Present Perfect noted in his nomination that “I can’t say I’ve read a dark fic quite like this before,” the strong execution of this story’s style brought us around to quick agreement on its feature.  “I’ll call it another example of Pony horror done right,” AugieDog opined, while Soge praised its freshness: “It is a clever idea, a more-or-less by-the-books take on ImmorTwilight that still manages to bring something new to the table.”

That novelty was in this story’s memorable depiction of its protagonist.  “I really love how the author chose to represent Twilight, and establish her inner conflict,” Soge said, and Horizon agreed: “The way this pulls off its slow reveal while keeping Twilight broken and unmoored is a big thing right.”  The prose was a major contributor to that.  “What works best is the sentence structure,” Present Perfect said.  “So many begin with ‘Twilight’, which just drives home how alone she is. Her actions are choppy, there’s little in the way of transition from one to the next, which along with her constant repeating of actions sells her fractured and damaged mind.”

Oddly, we found ourselves approaching the story’s laconic, direct style rather differently.  “A little more subtlety would have gone a long way here,” Soge said.  “However, it is a striking, memorable fic, able to convey much through style and atmosphere.”  AugieDog admired its restraint, though: “The way everything’s so tamped-down here — the emotions, the language, the storyline, the grammar — it just all works really well.”  And Chris disagreed with them both: “I say, there’s nothing wrong with hitting the reader over the head with a two-by-four as long as you let them hold the wackin’ stick themselves,” he said.  “Subtle? No. But even as it abandons nuance, it still gives the reader freedom.”

Read on for our author interview, in which Protopony350 discusses breadcrumbs, robot obsessions, and double-necked guitars.

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N00813’s “Schemering Sintel”

22 Friday Apr 2016

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Today’s story walks the lonely road to revenge.

schemering-sintelSchemering Sintel
[Adventure] [Dark] [Drama] [Sad] [Tragedy] • 29,611 words

It’s been a long, long time since Spike was stolen from her, but Twilight hasn’t forgotten nor forgiven.  After a long and arduous journey, she has finally found him and his kidnapper.

She will save him.

No matter the cost.

FROM THE CURATORS: While Schemering Sintel doesn’t flinch from its Dark tag, it’s “a very clever grim fic,” as Soge put it:  “It is a great example of how to twist a character beyond recognition without alienating the audience.”  Indeed, it was the way that the story handled its vision of a morally altered Twilight which drew the most curator praise.  “Where this piece excels is showing,” Present Perfect said.  “It’s not just a story about Twilight finding Spike, but about her changing over an extreme period of time filled with hardship. And that change is shown perfectly in the final chapters, when it seems like the plot has finished, but the story is still going.”  Chris agreed: “This is character development done right.  Twilight’s dual growth and collapse as a character doesn’t stop at any one point … the dramatic moments are simply waypoints that show what she’s become.”

We also found the construction of the world around Twilight worthy of note.  “It’s a great fantasy adventure,” Present Perfect said, “from the unfriendly civilizations Twilight encounters to the beautifully-described landscapes and the cool stuff like her mythril tattoos.”  Horizon also praised that worldbuilding: “There are some really unique ideas here that feel uniquely Equestrian while supporting a tone we’d never see in the show.”  But in the end, Soge said, it came back to the strong writing of that world’s inhabitants: “It is an adventure that focuses on character rather than action, and is all the stronger for that.”

It was that strength which has kept Schemering Sintel relevant despite its vision of Equestria becoming increasingly obsolete with newer seasons’ canon.  “I think it’s interesting to note to what extent this story is a product of its time,” Chris said.  “The broader world of Equestria wasn’t nearly as well fleshed out before Season 3; I don’t think you could write a story with a similar tone today without doing significantly more to set the stage for all the violence, cynical choices, etc.  But viewed in the light of the first two seasons, this holds up extremely well as a glimpse of how the world can silence our better angels.”

Read on for our author interview, in which N00813 discusses friendship entropy, thematic architecture, and glued-together pieces.
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Wellspring’s “Arthurian—The Black King”

18 Friday Mar 2016

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You always go back to the classics — and with today’s story, you can return to a pony take on one of the great classics of English literature.

arthurianArthurian—The Black King
[Dark] [Romance] [Tragedy] • 30,305 words

“Those of us who have a general overview and knowledge of King Sombra regard him to be a despotic autocrat, a power-hungry potentate and a vicious oppressor. And, even if this condemnation is justified, we may perhaps not have the right reason for this attribution. This is due to the fact that before King Sombra turned to the tyrant we all know him to be, he was the greatest knight of the Crystal Empire.”

—Sir Sombra de Onyx, Foreword to the Third Edition

FROM THE CURATORS: “This is a very ambitious piece,” Present Perfect said — as its roots show.  “The author lists Le Morte D’Arthur and Ivanhoe as the primary inspirations,” Chris said, “and Wellspring does a commendable job capturing both the literary style and the feeling of history-by-way-of-myth which permeates Le Morte D’Arthur.  A capital-r Romance in the truest sense, this is a story about character archetypes presented in a tell-heavy style.”  It is also, in Horizon’s words, “metal as heck.  From Sombra’s world-serpent origin to the way the sphinx is killed, this continuously finds new ways to crank up the level of epic.”

And while The Black King can be an easy story to bounce off of — “I can appreciate what the author’s doing here, but I can’t read it,” AugieDog said — it richly rewards readers willing to engage with it.  “The style is obtuse, and all the grammatical errors don’t help the story at all,” Soge said, “but this story sold me on its metafiction aspects levels so hard that by the end I went from ‘Wellspring needs a editor’ to ‘Boy, Equestrian grammar sure has changed’. The afterwords are tone perfect, the historical and plot inaccuracies feel legitimate, and the footnotes complement the text beautifully.”  Present Perfect had similar praise for those margin elements: “There’s so much unexpected humor with the historical inaccuracies in the footnotes. And there’s historical poems in them! They do quite a lot more work than one expects footnotes to. … I’ve also never praised an afterword before, which should say enough by itself.”

What locked in The Black King’s feature, though, was that its unusual style was wrapped around solid storytelling.  “Sombra’s backstory is really powerful,” Present Perfect said, while Soge praised its worldbuilding more broadly: “The story carries some fascinating ideas about Sombra, the Crystal Kingdom, and historical Equestria as a whole. I love how Sombra’s tragic flaws are mostly positive attributes, which makes the inevitable conclusion all the stronger.”  It all added up to a package worth the time spent in adjusting to its presentation.  “The more I think about it, the more impressive I find this story to be,” Chris said. “The Black King captured my imagination in a way few fanfics do, and I feel like that’s the definition of something worth spotlighting.”

Read on for our author interview, in which Wellspring discusses showy footnotes, writing archetypically, and the evil of Cervantes.
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Wisdom Thumbs’ “The Weak”

05 Friday Feb 2016

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Today’s story is a strong addition to our collection of tales about Equestria’s distant past.

the-weakThe Weak
[Dark] [Tragedy] • 7,723 words

They say minotaurs live by the scars they bear. Bismuth’s hide is a map of the world: his life was the blade, and the blade was his life, carried unto a hundred red fields, down a thousand roads, singing among elk, deer, and dragons. He stood at ramparts long since fallen, and was counted a hero in lands forgotten, when ponies had only begun to dream.

Maybe it’s all true, but now he only rocks in his chair, stirring at embers, while his deeds turn to rust in the shadows. What kind of scars call that living? And if you ask him, would he tell you?

FROM THE CURATORS: Connoisseurs of classic ponyfic will find a little extra bonus in today’s feature, as Chris pointed out when he introduced this story to us. “This borrows its setting from Jetfire’s It’s A Dangerous Business, Going Out Your Door stories,” he said.  “But I believe The Weak stands on its own.  All of the things it borrows are gleaned easily enough from this story itself.”  And the rest of us quickly discovered that it was richly rewarding even without the context of its source.  “Having forgotten pretty much all of Dangerous Business in the four or five years since I read it, I didn’t have any trouble with the set-up,” AugieDog said.  “The writing is top-notch, and the revelation at the end of who Bismuth is telling this story to was just the perfect cap.”  Present Perfect agreed: “Unfamiliar with those stories as I am, this comes off as just another excellent piece of world-building. The fantastic writing, the solid character voice, tell a story of the horrors of war with all the fantasy a Tolkien or Tolkien-after reader could ask for.”

It wasn’t only the power of that prose which brought to mind another blast from the past.  “I’d compare this story to our previous feature The War and What Came After,” Chris said, “in that it doesn’t seem like a particularly ‘pony’ story until the end — at which point it ties itself back to its Equestrian setting in a way that not only justifies its being written as an MLP fanfic, but also perfectly encapsulates the tone of the world it’s set in.”  Other curators also singled out for praise the way in which The Weak connected its original writing and the show we love.  “I’m impressed at how ponies pervade this story while barely appearing in it. It’s very Outside Insight that way,” Present Perfect said.

But no matter how many fond memories of other stories this invoked, there was never any question that The Weak earned its own place in our hearts.  “I’m most impressed with the writing,” Present Perfect said.  “It’s hard not to adore a line like ‘I tried to feel dry’.”  Chris agreed: “Once the narrator stops addressing his audience and starts telling his story, the word choice and ability to paint striking visuals are consistently engrossing.  All in all, this was a gorgeously written story which has a lot to offer to a reader.”

Read on for our author interview, in which Wisdom Thumbs discusses unwilling farming, animated salves, and lawn-based characterization.

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