Missing out on today’s story would be a crime.
Detective jakkid166 in everything
[Comedy] [Human] • 15,616 words
“Every pony thing evre made would be better if it had me in it.”
I, Detective jakkid166, will be prepared to make every pony fanficion, video, and game better by me being in it. All you favorite pony content, except it has ME! And even I could be in some episodes of the show except cause the charaters are idiot I’m good at my job.
The ultimate Detective jakkid166 adventures collection, as he goes into EVERYTHING to make it good.
FROM THE CURATORS: “Wait, come back! I’m serious!” Soge said in his nomination. “Writing good trollfic is hard … the best trolls imbue their bad grammar, random typos, and nonsensical plot with purpose. And jakkid’s fics are resounding successes in this regard, showing that he is fully willing and able to twist everything you take for granted in a story in order to extract as much humor as possible.”
This spurred a debate over whether trollfics were in our mission statement to spotlight the fandom’s best stories, and amid that debate, one thing quickly became clear: there indeed is quality here. “OK, so this is… umm… it’s, uhh… it’s featurable, lemme say right off the top,” AugieDog said. “Because this story is nuts — absolutely, gloriously, exhaustingly nuts.” Indeed, jakkid166 went on to win rare unanimous approval. “He’s just got a phenomenal way to make the reader constantly second-guess themselves,” Present Perfect said. “He lulls you into a sense that everything you think you know about writing and the English language might actually be wrong.”
That authorial skill came out in sharp comedy and frantic wordplay. “Despite its deliberately broken language, it’s quotable as hell,” Horizon said. “Every paragraph drips with surprising punchlines and glorious turns of phrase.” Soge agreed: “It is impossible to finish this without having one (or several) favorite sentences.” And while many of jakkid166’s stories offered that same hilarity, this fic in particular was elevated by its structure. “Jakkid grows on you. Like a fungus,” FanOfMostEverything said. “Having him intrude on classic tales (and Flash games, and episodes…) elevates his usual blend of impossible awesomeness and incomprehensibility by giving him a plot he has to at least acknowledge.”
Several of us similarly appreciated the parody of fandom classics on display. “This fic’s vignette style worked just perfect for me,” Soge said, and Present Perfect agreed: “I found this a hilarious sendup of numerous fanfics, a la Starlight Fixes Everything, just with jakkid166’s own personal brand of insanity.” And ultimately, it was adding that to the exemplary-yet-broken writing which won us over. “The fic not only offers a hilarious takedown of some fandom sacred cows, it’s almost embarrassingly witty and creative,” Horizon said. “That it does so via its insane internal logic is a sign of how much thought went into its construction. It’s the fanfiction equivalent of a classic Looney Tunes cartoon inventing its own physics.”
Read on for our author interview, in which jakkid166 discusses prison breaks, methlessness, and unsalted soup.
Give us the standard biography.
I am detective jakkid166 the greatest detective in the world. My story start with the unfortunate death of my fortunate father, Jakdad166. You see back in day there was a law that said if you stab someone with a knife you must clean it so the next person you stab doesn’t get infected. But the town serial killer forgot to do that so my dad got stabbed and he died of tetanus, and also the stab wound. and so on that day I decided I, me, yes, would become the greatest detective in the world, to fight against injustices like this.
And eventually, after I bought my Detective diploma (because im american), I was detective. My detective life started out in my home world of Los Angeles, where I was good friends with Phoenix Wright and helped him with his cases except for when I did not help him. I was not as good at writing back then tho so those stories arent as funny. But eventually in the first chapter of Detective jakkid166 Go Equestria Now, you see I fell in th portal and ended up in Equestria and that is where I lived for a long time and wrote about all the crazy adventures that happen there. Twilight sparkle edits my storeys for me sometimes.
How did you come up with your handle/penname?
my name is detective jakkid166. so i take out the detective part.
Who’s your favorite pony?
Bob Tool, who was my neighbor in Equestira. he run a hardware stand in the Ponyville boston market. I love him for his funny jokes, like he would say “What do you need to hammer a nail? a hammer!” and I would laugh. the joke is funny because you are supposed to use a wrench
What’s your favorite episode?
My favorite episode is Rarity Investigates. Which is 15th episode of season 5. I like it because rarity is detective in it. she actually got inspiration to do that from me specifically.
it was a good one cause I remember after Rainbow Dash got framed for murder or whatever it was, rarity came up to solve the case. So she and rainbow went to go look for clues. They did find a piece of rainbows hair in a very suspicious place (on her head), and it was going well. Then Rarity asked me “detective jakkid166 who do you think did it?” and that was the moment i put the puzzle together. I put the puzzle back in its box and said “Yes i know who it was!” and it was true and we arrested the true culprit. it was a fun episode.
What do you get from the show?
Mainly I get lotsa money from being paid to do my detective job, but also my favorite part is gettin to be friends with all the ponies who i love friends. I would take a bullet for them, cause im actually immune to bullets cause I built up a immunity to them from getting shot so many times.
What do you want from life?
simple. I must eradicate All Crime.
Wait actually no i cant be detective if theres no crime. I eradicate MOST crime.
Why do you write?
As greatest detective in the world i simply think that sometime I shud be recognized for my efforts in uncriming equestria. Still many people do not believe they are (mostly) true stories and laugh instead, but it is all good because it is supposed to be fun so who cares! people apperciate jakkid and that make me the Happiest Detective in the World.
What advice do you have for the authors out there?
Do not get too caught up in RULES. Ther ar many ways to write stories. rules help sometime but sometimes breaking a writig rule can be GOOD if you do it right. Make you own rules. it make you writing spicy. this is why i sometimes break the law as detective, to keep life spicy. That is also why i put hot sauce on everything.
What inspired not just this story but your whole wonderfully odd approach to storytelling?
Wel my BIG inspiration to start to write is a storey called DAMON GANT ESCAPS FROM PRISOOOOOOON by Ballistic Dolphin. It is a phoenix wright story that inspire me to actually write about my real experiences cause i know phoenix wright in real life.
With story telling i usually only tell the story as it happen in real life, but with Detective jakkid166 in Everything it was different cause most of those stories are actually mostly made up (i am sorry to be disappointing). I was never really in Fallout Equestria or Rainbow Factory. though I really did meet Billy Joel. so how would I write stories that were not true?
The most important thing is i make sure the way I tell it is entertaining. I did not take lotsa inspiration from one thing specifically because it is mostly me, but I am a bigfan of movies like Airplane and Naked Gun and i like to make jokes like them sometimes when im on my adventures. Even though Twilight edit my stories for me i know i am not the greatest writer in the world, but so instead I use the not greatestness to my advantage. Even greatest detective must be humble and be able to laugh at self, so i make the jokes reflect that.
Is there a method to your madness, or is it just madness?
it is all method and no meth. I think very carefully about how i write mine sentences in stories. I spend a lotta time thinking up new jokes to say on my adventures so I can write them in my storeys. It may seem crazy because detective jakkids life is crazy sometimes. I ask people feedback to see if something is funny or not. But other than true events, I jus write what is funny to me. That is the trueth and my main goal. Be Funny at All Costs. Or BFAC for short. I just made that up.
Would you call your stories “trollfic”?
Google tell me that a troll fic is supposed to make people think theyre accidentally bad or theyre supposed to make people mad. My storeys are not supposed to do either one. My stories do not lie abot what they are, they are just here to entertain you no matter what way they can. So I cannot call it that.
Is there anything Detective jakkid can’t do?
I have escaped people out of prison. I have saved equestria from being Nuked. I got a guy a date with a friend one time which was kinda cool. but. Despite all i do, I canot stop being jakkid166. and for the better or for the worse i must make do with that. I am a Loose Cannon.
also i cant do Random Humor. all my jokes must have Purpose
and lastly i cannot stop partying. because Detective jakkid166 is always in Cool Mode.
Is there anything else you’d like to add?
Salt to the soup i am eating because its not very good.
That is a joke. for real i want to say I am very grateful for your questions and considerating me. i hope you all enjoy the saga of jakkid, and I present each of you with 50 detective dollars (if you get 500 detective dollars you can have me arest anyone you want to.) However. i must get back to solveng my latest case. so peace out! or peace in. whatever you perefer