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Jack of a Few Trades’ “Without Another Word”

31 Friday Aug 2018

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We’d like to give you a good word about today’s story.

Without Another Word
[Drama] [Sad] • 11,912 words

Seven years have passed since Grand Pear moved to Vanhoover, and time has dulled the pain of leaving Pear Butter behind. Though the scars remain, life for the Pear family has done its best to return to normal.

But one day, a letter from Ponyville comes in the mail.

FROM THE CURATORS: The Perfect Pear is one of the most moving and beloved episodes of MLP’s recent seasons, so stories based on it have a high bar to clear — a challenge which this fic exceeded with grace.  As Soge noted in his nomination, “Powerful stuff … Without Another Word does what fanfiction does best, by exploring the empty spaces left behind by canon.”  And Present Perfect summed up our assessment: “Grand Pear is perhaps the greatest tragic figure of MLP:FiM, beating out even Cranky Doodle Donkey’s decade-long search for love. This story gets how someone could do what he did, how they could live with it, and how none of it would be easy. Every last drop of possible emotion is wrung from a pure, natural understanding of his character.”

That was accomplished, Soge said, “thanks to some very well realized characterization work, and a tone which manages to feel heavy and yet avoid falling into melodrama.”  Several other curators also praised the treatment of the Pear family, such as AugieDog: “The character details elevate it right into the clouds — Grand Pear’s relationship with his wife and with the griffon bartender especially, but also with his other children and the folks who come into his shop,” he said.  “It displays a real understanding of the sort of person who would do this to himself and to his family.”  And FanOfMostEverything added, “The fleshing out of his wife when the episode gave us absolutely nothing to work with was fantastic.”

The character work was also enhanced by a finely crafted structure.  “I feel the strongest part of this story is its use of unreliable narration,” FanOfMostEverything said.  “At first, we see Grand Pear how he wants to be seen, as the strong central pillar of his family, the source of order in the chaos. It takes an emotional breakdown, other perspectives, and too much straight whiskey to peel back the layers and show what’s really been going on.”  And ultimately, what that added up to was something all of us commented on — the raw emotional power on display.  “This story hit me hard,” Soge said, and AugieDog concurred: “This doesn’t pull any of the punches Grand Pear’s got coming.”

Read on for our author interview, in which Jack of a Few Trades discusses starry-eyed phases, fruit glue, and hailstorm baptisms.
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fourths’ “You and Her”

17 Friday Aug 2018

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Today’s story aches.

You and Her
[Romance] [Sad] • 7,335 words

[Note: This story contains sexual themes.]

You told me that a young designer from out of town would be coming to stay with us for a few days while she discussed business plans with you. I told you that would be fine, that I wouldn’t mind.

I lied.

FROM THE CURATORS: Relationships are rarely easy. Feelings wax and wane, ebb and flow, and even at their easiest and most effortless, relationships take effort. But maybe you don’t want to put that effort in any more. Maybe it takes less effort to start something new than to maintain something you’ve had for years. Maybe your partner won’t catch on. Maybe they will.

“This story stood out by virtue of sticking with me after reading,” said Horizon in his nomination, “the way the pain from a punch lingers. It’s a blunt, immediate look at the pain of adultery that works almost in a sort of chiaroscuro, contrasting the beauty of their day-to-day life (and Fleur’s denial) with the rawness of the situation.” Others agreed; RBDash47 said it “was skillfully crafted, and yet—and therefore—I did not enjoy reading it at all” and FanOfMostEverything had to admit, “This sort of story isn’t my usual cup of tea. It’s not even in the same cupboard. But I can’t deny that it hits every emotional note dead center.”

Everyone agreed that the author did a fantastic job of bringing a heartwrenching story about a significant other discovering their lover is cheating on them to life. Soge praised its “realistic depictions of cheating, and of a relationship which has progressed beyond the ‘crumbling completely’ stage”; RBDash47 said, “fourths did a great job capturing the floaty, surreal experience of reluctantly confirming your spouse is cheating on you”; Present Perfect said, “while this could have been just another well written story about a dark subject that’s hard to write about, it’s the amount of nuance placed on Fleur’s character that makes it stand out.”

From start to finish, the story’s structure sold the protagonist’s inner turmoil. “The unbalanced nature of the plot itself — the threads left unresolved, the paths left unexplored — function perfectly here to reinforce Fleur’s dazed experience and sense of uncertainty in these moments,” said RBDash47. “We have no idea where she goes from here, because neither does she.” Horizon felt that “the complication and lack of resolution certainly work to sell the messy nature of the situation.”

Read on for our author interview, in which fourths discusses jealous flowers, mid-life crises, and having strong opinions. Continue reading →

Einhander’s “Royals”

15 Friday Jun 2018

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Today’s story is a rarity: a rich romance between an unexpected pair.

Royals
[Romance] [Sad] [Slice of Life] • 14,210 words

Rarity always wanted to be Lady Rarity. Over time, it became more clear it was not meant to be. But she’s fine, she’s got a successful business in Ponyville, her fashion line showing in Manehattan and she has her friends, even if most of them are moving on with their lives. A prince sweeping her off her hooves was just not meant to be.

So how in Equestria did she end up on a date with the richest pony in town?

Confusion, feelings and wine mix for a potentially explosive, heartwarming (or rending?) evening, along with a pinch of generosity.

FROM THE CURATORS: Any romance writer can tell you that mashing characters’ lips together is the easy part — and this is a story that makes the hard parts look effortless.  “Royals follows Rarity as she goes on a date with Filthy Rich,” Soge said in his nomination, “and what follows not only is a delightfully well-constructed romance on its own right, but also an amazing exploration of what makes both characters tick, and an exploration of the nature of fame and success and what those mean in the greater scheme of things.” On its way to a rare unanimous approval, that was far from the only praise it accumulated.  “This does a flawless job of selling a ship I’d never even considered,” Horizon said. “Within a scene and a half it had endeared me to both characters AND shown me their chemistry.”  Present Perfect, meanwhile, noted that “excellent romance needs to be built on relationships, characters and dialogue, and this has all three in spades.  This is what romance should always be like.”

Even in the details, we kept finding things that surprised and delighted us.  “I adored the clever touches around the main plot: Diamond Tiara reacting to Rarity, the reason for her name, even just getting to experience a pre-season-five fic [before the show canonically made Spoiled Rich his wife] again,” Present Perfect said.  Horizon added that “the dialogue was never anything less than sharp and stellar,” while FanOfMostEverything was impressed by how casually it made its stars shine.  “The story even celebrates both characters at their best even when they’re not trying to romance each other,” he said, “from Mr. Rich’s drive to save Sweet Apple Acres to Rarity’s Bisonian moment in the last flashback. (‘For you, it was the greatest day of your life. For Rarity, it was Tuesday.’)”

That exemplary character work extended throughout the story, and drew praise from every one of us.  “I’ll just add how well the author draws even the background characters here,” AugieDog said.  “The flashback in chapter two give us a perfectly written Applejack, for instance, and it’s in a scene that’s nothing but dialogue.”  All in all, as Horizon said, that elevated it into a story with broad appeal: “As sweet as the romance was, these two characters could have been watching paint dry and it still would have held my attention.”

Read on for our author interview, in which Einhander discusses belated tinkering, short circuits, and universe sharing.
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Metool Bard’s “The Truth Hurts”

01 Friday Jun 2018

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With today’s story, idol hooves are the devil’s workshop.

The Truth Hurts
[Dark] [Sad] [Slice of Life] • 4,914 words

Lightning Dust has been in a bit of a rut ever since getting kicked out of the Wonderbolt Academy. Day after day, she’s been sticking to a strict exercise regimen under the guidance of Cloudsdale’s premier personal trainer, Haymaker. Her hope is that she’ll unlock her true potential and show Haymaker how awesome she is, thus prompting him to use his connections to get her back into the Wonderbolts. No matter how many times Haymaker tells her it’s impossible, Lightning simply refuses to listen.

Then one fateful night, Lightning Dust’s training is interrupted by the appearance of her greatest idol, Wind Rider. It turns out he too has difficulty accepting reality, and he has his own, more nefarious schemes to get himself back in the game. Haymaker sees this as his last chance to save Lightning Dust from walking Wind Rider’s path. And if that means rubbing salt in a few wounds and shattering a few dreams, then so be it.

FROM THE CURATORS: Sometimes, a story’s brilliance lies in expressing one of life’s greatest rarities — a truly original idea.  “Lightning Dust is a character I tend to forget was ever on the show,” Present Perfect said in his nomination.  “Therefore, it’s maybe easy to see why no one ever considered comparing her to dethroned Wonderbolt Wind Rider before.  But it’s so obvious in hindsight.”  Soge agreed, and added: “Having read the story, it really surprises me that this is the only fic tagged with both characters on the site.”

Though there was some curator dissent on the quality of the execution, there was none on what made it exemplary.  “What makes this story work, beyond that excellent premise, is the portrayal of the characters,” Present Perfect said, echoed by Soge: “The concept is strong enough to make it memorable, and it is executed perfectly well, thanks to the snappy dialogue and pitch-perfect characterization.”  And FanOfMostEverything pointed out that it wasn’t just the protagonists done well: “Haymaker really ties it all together, knowing when to offer wisdom and when to just shine a spotlight on bullcrap.”

And ultimately, the story talked about redemption in a way that reflected the core of the show.  “I can’t help but draw parallels between Lightning Dust and Sunset Shimmer here,” FanOfMostEverything said.  “Both prodigies, both arrogant, both humbled by a member of the Mane Six. The difference is that Twilight gave Sunset a support network. Haymaker tries to act as that for Lightning, but she’s not yet seen the error of her ways. Seeing Wind Rider’s true colors is, appropriately enough, her rainbow to the face.”  Soge summed it up: “I got left with the feeling that Lightning Dust has a real shot at redemption here, so long as she is able to change her path radically.”

Read on for our author interview, in which Metool Bard discusses dark mirrors, pegasus partiality, and never-ending hurricanes.
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Phaoray’s “Complex Apartments”

25 Friday May 2018

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Today’s story drives home the difficulties of odd roommate choices.

Complex Apartments
[Equestria Girls] [Drama] [Romance] [Sad] • 9,829 words

Choosing an apartment to live in is important and requires good planning. Location, needs, cost, a lot must be taken into account when looking.

One girl looks to her animals and peace, hoping to have a quiet, fun time with her friends as she goes through high school. For her, the apartment is cheap, comfortable, allows pets, and is close to school. Perfect!

The other is looking to take over a high school, enslave everyone inside, and bring war to another dimension all in the name of proving her mentor wrong. A small, cheap apartment near the school to plan in is all she needs.

Fluttershy really should have met the neighbors before signing her lease…

FROM THE CURATORS: While My Little Pony is excellent about showing sympathy and redemption to its villains, one of the ways that fanfic complements the show is in offering the nuance that children’s programming can lack.  “What got me wanting to feature this in the first place is the careful depiction of Sunset as reluctant bully,” Present Perfect said in his nomination.  “She’s fueled by vengeance, not evil, and as we watch her first tentative steps toward driving CHS into the friendless chaos Twilight found in the first movie, you start to think that maybe being cold, heartless and manipulative doesn’t exactly come easy to a former pony or something.”

That wasn’t the only way that this story aimed high — nor the only way it succeeded.  “With the ‘Changing Seasons’ contest’s stated goal being ‘ship Sunset with someone’, setting the story prior to Equestria Girls was about the hardest thing a writer could do to themselves,” Present Perfect said.  “Well, other than also trying to ship her with Fluttershy. But the odd back-and-forth relationship they stumble into is a highlight of this piece.”  Our broad agreement sent this toward its feature.  “My love for the romantic dynamic in this story honestly surprised me,” Soge said.  “It’s dysfunctional as all hell … and yet it’s the kind of passionate love that, though it may not be eternal, is infinite while it lasts, to paraphrase one of my favourite poems.”  FanOfMostEverything agreed: “I’ve been stewing it over since I read it, especially that beach scene. In the end, though, as Soge said, it is perfect for this horribly dysfunctional relationship. It’s twisted. It’s manipulative. To call it morally questionable would be being generous. Yet Sunset offers Fluttershy a chance at physical intimacy without any prying eyes making her feel self-conscious.”

That balancing act wouldn’t have been possible without exemplary character work.  “It is quintessentially Fluttershy, two legs or not, to spend a night hugging away the tears of someone that constantly abuses her,” Soge said.  And that extended beyond the protagonists into exemplary writing in general, AugieDog said: “The few lines Fluttershy gives us about her parents are absolute models for concise character backstory presentation, too, and they serve really well to show how this Sunset and Fluttershy are both twisted in ways that twine them more closely together.”

Read on for our author interview, in which Phaoray discusses troll hunters, homeless anomalies, and blood ambitions.
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Aldrigold’s “The Quiescence of the Crystal Empire”

27 Friday Apr 2018

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Today’s story is a blast from the past.

The Quiescence of the Crystal Empire
[Sad] • 2,569 words

Before Twilight and her friends saved the Crystal Empire, its ruler had to watch it die. Long before she meets Shining Armor and Twilight, Cadence walks through her home for the last time.

FROM THE CURATORS: Whether written eight seasons in, or in the early days of the show, one thing doesn’t change about fanfiction — it shines brightest when exploring past the edges of what “My Little Pony” has shown us.  And even when canon later invalidates a story’s approach, it can be enjoyable on its own merits.  “This is a fascinating ‘What If’ of Crystal Empire history that was actually written prior to season 3 airing, let alone Cadence’s backstory showing up in the first official novel,” Present Perfect said in his nomination.  “No Sombra exists to oppose her, only ennui and faithlessness in the face of encroaching winter.”

Unsurprisingly, much of our discussion was about the unique ways this fic engaged us with the benefit of several years’ hindsight.  “It’s always fascinating to see what we come up with in a near-vacuum,” FanOfMostEverything said.  “Part of the fun of reading this was picking out the grains of canon around which formed this gorgeous pearl of speculation.  It also takes how some of the fandom saw Cadence just after the wedding, the Princess Who Doesn’t Do Anything, and turns scorn towards Hasbro’s marketing department into a compelling slow tragedy.”  AugieDog agreed, both in the fascination value and in the story’s added depth.  “I really like the idea of a ‘preemptive AU’ — you know it’s not gonna be right, but you’ve got an idea you wanna get out there, so you just leap ahead and do it,” he said.  “Still, it’s the atmosphere here that struck me — empty, cracking, snow-bound ruins with this one living figure wandering through them.”

Even without the nostalgia, though, we found plenty to compliment.  “It’s a chilling tragedy shot through with quietly powerful lines like ‘She didn’t remember what taurine meant’,” Present Perfect said, while FanOfMostEverything added: “The pacing is incredible, allowing us to appreciate all that has been lost, both in terms of the Empire and of Cadence’s innocence, without crossing the line into maudlin territory.”  Soge summed it up: “It has a consistently melancholic tone, which really helps sell the depths of Cadence’s tragedy here. In a sense, it reminds me of a more personal ‘Lost Cities‘, and that is high praise.”

Read on for our author interview, in which Aldrigold discusses adventure ponies, playground explorations, and fun pants.
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alarajrogers’ “Sleep While I Drive”

20 Friday Apr 2018

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Today’s story drives its characters to extremes.

Sleep While I Drive
[Dark] [Adventure] [Sad] [Sci-Fi] • 12,791 words

Celestia and Discord, as teens, flee their destroyed homeworld to a new world promised by a letter from Luna. But Discord can’t escape his nature, nor Celestia her memories. Being a chaos mage on a starliner is a death sentence, and yet, Discord has to keep using his mind-control powers to take Celestia’s emotions away, at her request, because otherwise she wants to die. And Gray Celestia, the discorded Celestia with no emotions but the drive to protect herself and Discord, will do anything that needs to be done to save them both.

FROM THE CURATORS: When a story tackles ambitious ideas, our commentary sometimes gets as wide-ranging as the fic itself.  “This has got tragedy, mental illness, friendship and horrible things done in the name of survival, all in spades,” Present Perfect said in his nomination, and on its way to a rare unanimous approval, compliments like FanOfMostEverything’s stacked up: “Alara excels at building a universe and finding a place for everyone in it, especially Discord,” he said.  “That skill is on full display here, blending ponies, sci-fi, and the interplay of harmony and chaos into a seamless whole.  The actual story that takes place in this universe is a breathtaking one, tackling the themes of love, loss, survivor’s guilt, prejudice, duty, and more in an interstellar narrative arc that hurts to read in the best way.”

With so much worldbuilding for the story to do, it walked a fine line between competing extremes, both in tone and character.  “The technobabble felt purposeful, and in its relatively short length it manages to build a whole universe, much darker than anything in MLP proper, but still remarkably faithful to the show — remarkable, considering Celestia’s actions throughout the story,” Soge said.  AugieDog, meanwhile, remarked on the power of its theme: “The two characters are pretty much destroying themselves in order to save the other, not becoming whole together but becoming echoing, hollow shells,” he said.  “It’s a story that could easily wear the ‘Tragedy’ tag if we didn’t know where things ultimately are heading, and maybe even then.”

Along the way, the story also offered some unique accomplishments.  “I’m unable to think of the last time I read a story that successfully pulled off both an in medias res opening and a ‘fade to black’ ending,” AugieDog said.  “Granted, it helps that we know who these characters are and what will eventually become of them, but to take a piece that doesn’t really begin and doesn’t really end and still make it into a story, that’s some writing right there.”  It was a package that added up, as Soge said, to an impressive whole: “This is a fantastic fic, full of character, amazing worldbuilding, and a dramatic flair that gives the whole thing heft and purpose.  I don’t think I’d heard of alarajrogers before, and what an introduction this was.”

Read on for our author interview, in which alarajrogers discusses deity elections, well-meaning extremists, and dining-room takeovers.
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OnionPie’s “What is Left”

09 Friday Mar 2018

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Today’s story is an addicting read.

What is Left
[Dark] [Sad] [Thriller] [Tragedy] • 24,301 words

Five years of cheap thrills in the big city have left Sweetie Belle in bad debt with dangerous ponies. Forced to pay up, she returns to Ponyville to seek money from an estranged sister she loathes with a passion.

FROM THE CURATORS: We’re all here because we appreciate the pastel friendship aesthetic of My Little Pony — but fanfic wanders considerably farther afield, and there’s also beauty sometimes in bleakness.  “This is dark and depressing in all the right ways — the closest point of comparison would be the tone of Fallout: Equestria – Project Horizons‘ darkest chapters, honestly,” Soge said in his nomination.  “Even when, halfway through the story, this fic leads you to believe things might be changing for the better, it shatters that illusion in three paragraphs in such an amazing way that I had to just step away from the story to process everything. It is a hard read, but very rewarding.”  Although all of us commented on that darkness, this earned a feature on the sheer power of its story, as Present Perfect said: “It won’t be for every reader, as the profanity, violence, drug use and general malaise of depression run severely counter to the show which inspired the piece. But this is gritty, troubling and devastating in all the right ways.”

The core of that was how we saw prose quality in every direction we turned.  “It helps that the writing is top-notch, atmospheric and evocative in a way that really drives home the despair of the situation, yet managing to contrast the reality of what is happening with well-placed touches of beauty,” Soge said, while Present Perfect was drawn deeply in: “it sure doesn’t hurt that the thriller aspect of the plot is gripping as anything; I accidentally read the whole story in one go because I couldn’t put it down.”  Even the elements we found controversial were handled thoughtfully.  “The profanity is actually well-used here, the drug-use stuff seems to me to be firmly on the fantasy side, and while I found the set-up to be a little slow, the gut-punch ending makes it worth it,” AugieDog said.

Characterization was another strong point.  “While both Rarity and Sweetie Belle are obviously very different than their show counterparts, there is a core of their characterization that is still present, and it helps drive home that this is something that could happen,” Soge said.  Present Perfect called them both “excellently flawed,” adding that “the villain is intimidating and memorable. The tragedy is palpable, and that atmospheric, evocative writing Soge refers to suffuses every last instant of the narrative.”  What sealed our feature was that this won over even curators turned off by darker material.  “I set a higher bar when it comes to dark Ponyfic,” AugieDog said.  “If a story wants to have cute ponies not being cute, well, then that story’s got to prove itself to me, and this story proves itself quite handily at every turn.”

Read on for our author interview, in which OnionPie discusses tragic beauty, culmination preparation, and sister hugs.
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RB_’s “The World Fades to White”

08 Friday Dec 2017

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Today’s story is quite a cool tale.

The World Fades to White
[Adventure] [Sad] • 3,388 words

Princess Flurry Heart and the descendant of Prince Rutherford brave the harsh conditions of the Frozen North, in search of an artifact they hope will save their home from a similar fate.

FROM THE CURATORS: One of the subtler skills in writing is how to wring meaning from the things you don’t say — a skill on prominent display in this short and focused fic.  “I love how sparse the writing feels, hinting at larger things without ever having to define them, managing to make its diffuse world feel rich and solid,” Soge said, and Present Perfect agreed: “This feels like such a tiny slice of a greater epic work. So much is packed into it, and yet so much is left unsaid.”

However, that was just one of a wider range of strengths we appreciated here. “Here’s a short piece that really shows how to use setting to reinforce tone,” Chris said in his nomination.  “The endless ice fields are a bleak and austere place to be. And likewise, though there’s a tragedy at the heart of this story, it’s not a big goobery ‘be sad’ one; it’s a cold tragedy of inevitability tempered by the distance of time.”  Despite that detachment, the story itself never felt distant.  “This story starts in medias res, and drives on as relentlessly as the blizzard surrounding the characters,” AugieDog said, “and yet, by the time we get to the end, there’s no question what happened and how things got to the state we find them in at the beginning. It’s a very nice piece of storytelling for that alone.”

AugieDog also praised the character work, and — when we weren’t derailing our discussion to talk like yaks at each other — the rest of us quickly agreed.  “The characters also deserve praise, feeling like unique creations, and yet rooted in a greater tradition that goes back to canon proper,” Soge said, and that was part of Present Perfect’s broader appreciation: “It succeeds in imagery — the sense of a vast, cold expanse of nothing, relentlessly driving our protagonists back from their goal. It succeeds in focus — zooming the ‘camera’ in and out and teasing us with what lies beyond the viewframe. And it succeeds in characterization — a simple glimpse at a future that doesn’t matter so much, because at its heart this is a story about family, friendship and loyalty, and it comes through perfectly.”

Read on for our author interview, in which RB_ discusses little monsters, melting pots, and winter shorts.
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Petrichord’s “Paper Butterflies”

17 Friday Nov 2017

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Watch some delicate emotions fold together in today’s story.

Paper Butterflies
[Sad] [Slice of Life] • 3,756 words

Discord hasn’t been feeling himself lately. Rarity thinks that it might be a good idea to get his mind off of things by having him assist her with upcoming work for the Summer Sun Celebration. Being the good sport that he is, Big Mac helps Discord out.

As it turns out, the project is surprisingly fun.  It’s also more than a little painful.

FROM THE CURATORS: By definition, it can be difficult to tell when a story does subtle things well — which is why it’s such a delight to find a deeper payoff in an already rewarding tale.  “This is a quiet, sublime, almost surreal story about Discord folding paper butterflies with Big Macintosh,” Present Perfect said in his nomination. “The sense of wonder as he and Big Mac race to capture various ponies in origami form is palpable. Then the story puts the brakes on … it all comes down to the juxtaposition with the final scene.”  Paper Butterflies’ speedy path to approval saw plenty of similar praise: “The big thing right is the way it sneakily layers the tragedy onto a strong and gentle slice-of-life-ey story and then brings it all tumbling down at the end,” Horizon said.

Along the way, we found the story guided by a sure yet subtle hand.  “This story is a marvelous example of one of the things I mean when I say ‘show, don’t tell,'” AugieDog said. “From the beginning right through to the ending, we’re shown everything we need to know about the situation, but we’re never told what that situation is.”  Horizon agreed: “I love how this wrings a ton of emotion out of implication, like Discord’s comment to Big Mac about objectively wrong statements.  Also, Rarity’s and Mac’s characterization were on point, and the dialogue here is fantastic.”  For his part, Soge appreciated the way the main character filled the piece: “It oozes Discord’s characterization on every word, from how it ignores the things it really wants to talk about, to the pacing, to how it flits from theme to theme obeying a logic that is all is own,” he said.  “And the pacing acts like a living thing, reacting to the mental state of the characters.”

Our range of different reading experiences showed that, both with and without the piece’s core subtlety, it paid off.  “I twigged to what was going on pretty early, but that didn’t spoil the emotional impact for me in the slightest,” AugieDog said, while Soge got hit with a one-two punch: “It took me until I went back to read the description and tags to actually get it, and the way that re-contextualized everything was just magnificent,” he said.  “Even without this added detail it would be something I’d love to feature, but that turns the whole thing into something truly special.”  And for Present Perfect, not even a warning blunted the impact: “I reached the end and remembered the author predicted it was going to make me cry. Damned if he wasn’t right.”

Read on for our author interview, in which Petrichord discusses mud sticks, distaff bits, and corgi staring.
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